I'm alive....barely. I've survived three excruciatingly long weeks teaching sixth-graders. I really don't have much to talk about. Actually, I have many unbelievable stories to tell about my kids, but I'm paranoid that one of my...
[I'm very annoyed right now because I had a beautiful post almost completed and all of the sudden...bang...half of it disappeared, and now I have to type it again. If you are disappointed in my blog, blame the technology...back to the story]
....I'm paranoid that one of students will stumble upon this anonymous blog and immediately know that he is "John Doe," and things will get very ugly. He'll go home either crying to his mom or bragging to his friends that he's famous, and either way word will leak and I'll find myself fired and working as a secretary for a busy office. Hmmmm....maybe I should tell stories and throw out not-so-subtle hints about my blog. It always has been a dream for me to be a secretary in a big, busy office. Really, it is my dream job. See below for some stats on my first three weeks of teaching.
Days it took me to make a kid cry-2
Times I've had to kick a kid out out of my classroom-3
Number of kids I've had to kick out of my classroom-2
Strikes I've given out for misbehavior-20+
These stats are scary when you remember that we have only been in school for 2o days. Overall, I have a good group of kids. If you are thinking that my stats don't fit my conclusion...let me have my optimistic thoughts. That might be all I have to carry me through the year.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
No Time For Blogging
Remember back on the first day I posted and I warned all readers to not get too attached to my words of wisdom because I'm not really cool enough to stick with the fads? Some of my readers (well, actually just my one faithful reader--Keisha) have gotten attached and so I feel that it is my duty to write. That and the fact that I don't want to do my homework right now so I've been thinking of anything and everything that I MUST do. Since blogging is now my duty, I MUST do it.
I will tell you about my adventures in Searcy over the week. I'm getting a MED in reading at Harding, and for part of the masters we have to go to Searcy and get tortured. Literally, tortured...not just jokingly exageratingly tortured. First, we had to sleep on mattresses that felt like they had been lined with rocks, but not just any rocks, rocks that had been coated with an extra-super hardening liquid. Second, we had to memorize about 150 pages and repeat them verbatim (he was generous enough that if we missed one or two words he might let us slide). Third, I had to spend 9 days with sleep-derived, brain-overloaded, kid-missing women who were already semi-crazy in the first place [just kidding....kinda....well, crazy or not, I really did like the women I went to Harding with].
I knew I was in for a really long weekend when the first night we were there, three of the four women were crying hysterically on the potato chip aisle in Wal-Mart. What brought them to hysterics? One of their kids was hurt? No. Their husband just got in a wreck? No One of the ladies ACCIDENTALLY hit one of the other ladies in the arm and hurt her feelings ? YES! [this was kinda the straw that broke the camel's back...but still!]. Believe it or not, it went downhill from there. I'll leave the stories for another night because my brain can no longer rationalize why I'm blogging and not doing my homework. I've done my duty, and now it's time for homework. Unless, I can come up with a reason by time I finish this sentence. hmmm....my house is very messy, and it probably needs to be cleaned up in case......in case.....in case.....in case my little Violet comes over to play tomorrow. Perfect! No homework and now Keisha will feel like it is her duty to bring Violet over. I did spend all night cleaning up my house just for Violet.
I will tell you about my adventures in Searcy over the week. I'm getting a MED in reading at Harding, and for part of the masters we have to go to Searcy and get tortured. Literally, tortured...not just jokingly exageratingly tortured. First, we had to sleep on mattresses that felt like they had been lined with rocks, but not just any rocks, rocks that had been coated with an extra-super hardening liquid. Second, we had to memorize about 150 pages and repeat them verbatim (he was generous enough that if we missed one or two words he might let us slide). Third, I had to spend 9 days with sleep-derived, brain-overloaded, kid-missing women who were already semi-crazy in the first place [just kidding....kinda....well, crazy or not, I really did like the women I went to Harding with].
I knew I was in for a really long weekend when the first night we were there, three of the four women were crying hysterically on the potato chip aisle in Wal-Mart. What brought them to hysterics? One of their kids was hurt? No. Their husband just got in a wreck? No One of the ladies ACCIDENTALLY hit one of the other ladies in the arm and hurt her feelings ? YES! [this was kinda the straw that broke the camel's back...but still!]. Believe it or not, it went downhill from there. I'll leave the stories for another night because my brain can no longer rationalize why I'm blogging and not doing my homework. I've done my duty, and now it's time for homework. Unless, I can come up with a reason by time I finish this sentence. hmmm....my house is very messy, and it probably needs to be cleaned up in case......in case.....in case.....in case my little Violet comes over to play tomorrow. Perfect! No homework and now Keisha will feel like it is her duty to bring Violet over. I did spend all night cleaning up my house just for Violet.
Monday, June 4, 2007
gas leaks, cardboard, and deer...what is wrong with the world today
I'm totally and completely outraged. I just spent the last two hours trying to figure out why my check engine light was on. Come to find out, someone had siphoned the gas out of my car. The siphoning isn't even what infuriated me. No, what is over-the-edge infuriating is that the person who stole my gas didn't even take the time to put my gas cap back on. This means that I had to drive home with the fear that I and my car might combust (spelling?) at any point. Seriously, if you ever get in the situation where you feel you must steal gas from someone (desperate times do call for desperate measures)at least have the common courtesy to put their cap back on. What has our world come to when people can't even be bothered to return the cap from a tank they just siphoned. Sounds to me like "the world is going to hell in a hand basket."
On top of all that tragedy, I saw a deer fly across the street like a piece of cardboard. All of the cars in front of me stopped, and I'm thinking "guys, it's no big deal...keep moving....it's just a piece of cardboard....if you really want to examine cardboard go to wal-mart." Then I saw the cardboard get up and run and then realized it was a deer. On a serious note, I hope the deer is okay. I keep imagining it in pain in the woods. I hope not.
On top of all that tragedy, I saw a deer fly across the street like a piece of cardboard. All of the cars in front of me stopped, and I'm thinking "guys, it's no big deal...keep moving....it's just a piece of cardboard....if you really want to examine cardboard go to wal-mart." Then I saw the cardboard get up and run and then realized it was a deer. On a serious note, I hope the deer is okay. I keep imagining it in pain in the woods. I hope not.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Death and stupidity
If I should die before I arrive [to harding] I pray thee Lord my soul to keep....
seriously, I am going to be saying this pray repeaditly over the next couple of days.
Also, if I make it to the gloryland in the next two days, please remember:
1.) I am adamant that NOBODY eats after my funeral. I do not want a family gathering where everbody swaps stories and laughs. Something just ain't right about that. At least mourn me for one single day!
2.) Wait at least a week before you guys fight over my possessions because I know yall are dreaming of having your own minature element skateboard one day, and you're beginning to imagine that maybe that day will be very, very soon.
There is a very good reason for my prayers and informal will . Last weekend, I had several EXTREMELY near-death experiences. The story begins several weeks ago, when I decided to carpool with a lady from my class. We had to travel to Seary three weekends in a row for classes; I thought I was being smart and cost-efficient by riding with someone else, but little did I know that saving a few dollars in gas might cost me my life. Although gas is over $3, the value of my precious soul is worth more, at least that is what I keep telling my self. To the near-death story....before we left my driver's neighborhood she has already confessed that she didn't know where the break is on the car, and she pointed out the exact spot where she had a "horrible accident." You would think that this might be the hint that I need to jump ship, but nope....I contently remained in the passanger side assuring my self that it could only get better.
As I'm writing this story, I'm beginning to think that I might be just a tad bit dim-witted*. This is a realization that I've never had before. Blogging really makes you exame yourself; maybe I should stop blogging while I'm still only debating if I'm dim-witted. What if I'm one of those people who is oblivious to their stupidity? I know some people like that; if it weren't happening to me, it would almost be funny for someone to have always looked down on dim-witted people to only realize late in life that they actaully fit in the category of dim-witted. Maybe someone can comment on how smart I am?????????? But then there is alwasy the chance they just don't want me to think I'm dim-witted, even though I really am. Sometimes things are best not known, so I guess I'm okay as long as I'm obliviously dim-witted.
*in the original post this word was stupid, but eveything inside my teacher body was repelled by "that bad word." As a teacher, calling someone stupid is up there with the worst of the cuss words. I couldn't think of a nice word for stupid so I looked it up in the thesaurus and found "dim-witted."
Back to the near-death stuff. As we are driving along, all of the sudden we are slowly veering to the shoulder for no go reason. When I mentioned to the driver that we were no longer in our lane her response was "oh I'll eventually drift back over." I wanted to say "will that be before or afer you've rammed into some semi and killed all of us?" We also got up to near 90 mph. Maybe that doesn't sound so bad, but if you remember that I'm riding with a lunatic who "casually veers in and out of lanes," doesn't know where the brakes are, and drives with two fingers on the wheel then maybe you will understand why I was terrified. Is education really worth near-death experiences? Either it is or like I was debating before I'm just stupid because I'm going to ride with this lady again!!
seriously, I am going to be saying this pray repeaditly over the next couple of days.
Also, if I make it to the gloryland in the next two days, please remember:
1.) I am adamant that NOBODY eats after my funeral. I do not want a family gathering where everbody swaps stories and laughs. Something just ain't right about that. At least mourn me for one single day!
2.) Wait at least a week before you guys fight over my possessions because I know yall are dreaming of having your own minature element skateboard one day, and you're beginning to imagine that maybe that day will be very, very soon.
There is a very good reason for my prayers and informal will . Last weekend, I had several EXTREMELY near-death experiences. The story begins several weeks ago, when I decided to carpool with a lady from my class. We had to travel to Seary three weekends in a row for classes; I thought I was being smart and cost-efficient by riding with someone else, but little did I know that saving a few dollars in gas might cost me my life. Although gas is over $3, the value of my precious soul is worth more, at least that is what I keep telling my self. To the near-death story....before we left my driver's neighborhood she has already confessed that she didn't know where the break is on the car, and she pointed out the exact spot where she had a "horrible accident." You would think that this might be the hint that I need to jump ship, but nope....I contently remained in the passanger side assuring my self that it could only get better.
As I'm writing this story, I'm beginning to think that I might be just a tad bit dim-witted*. This is a realization that I've never had before. Blogging really makes you exame yourself; maybe I should stop blogging while I'm still only debating if I'm dim-witted. What if I'm one of those people who is oblivious to their stupidity? I know some people like that; if it weren't happening to me, it would almost be funny for someone to have always looked down on dim-witted people to only realize late in life that they actaully fit in the category of dim-witted. Maybe someone can comment on how smart I am?????????? But then there is alwasy the chance they just don't want me to think I'm dim-witted, even though I really am. Sometimes things are best not known, so I guess I'm okay as long as I'm obliviously dim-witted.
*in the original post this word was stupid, but eveything inside my teacher body was repelled by "that bad word." As a teacher, calling someone stupid is up there with the worst of the cuss words. I couldn't think of a nice word for stupid so I looked it up in the thesaurus and found "dim-witted."
Back to the near-death stuff. As we are driving along, all of the sudden we are slowly veering to the shoulder for no go reason. When I mentioned to the driver that we were no longer in our lane her response was "oh I'll eventually drift back over." I wanted to say "will that be before or afer you've rammed into some semi and killed all of us?" We also got up to near 90 mph. Maybe that doesn't sound so bad, but if you remember that I'm riding with a lunatic who "casually veers in and out of lanes," doesn't know where the brakes are, and drives with two fingers on the wheel then maybe you will understand why I was terrified. Is education really worth near-death experiences? Either it is or like I was debating before I'm just stupid because I'm going to ride with this lady again!!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
The tragedies are rapidly rolling [do you like the awesome alliteration]
I have nothing to write about, and I almost didn't write anything......then I had this thought that what if ten years from now I want to know what I was doing at 6:54 on May 28, 2007 and I can't remember. Tragedy.
Future self: you can rest assured because now you will be able to look back and know exactly what was going on in your past mind. If you think about your future self wasting his/her time wondering what was going on ten years ago in his/her own brain, it's almost creepy. Future self, if you are reading this...you should feel a little creepy right now.
I have a deep conflict going on at school right now. First, you have to understand that I'm obsessed with miniature stuff. Not the ordinary obsessed, but obsessed as in my heart starts racing, and I usually make a little "yelp" of excitement. Back to the conflict... the students on my teams have bought these kits to build miniature skateboards that they do hand tricks with. The skateboards also come with a teeny-tiny screwdriver. What this means is that as I'm trying to teach, the students are in an imaginary world where hands can ride on skateboards and ollies [skateboard trick] can be done with the twist of a pinkie. If you are a teacher you might be thinking....okay, so what? one or two students aren't paying attention? Here is what you might not know. If they are not the ones performing tricks, they still aren't paying you any attention because they probably have something "riding" on if the person can or can't perform a trick. In other words, they are wasting quality education time on none other than....GAMBLING. Obviously, our team has a no-skateboard policy. If students have skateboards, they are in BIG trouble. They know this, they understand this, and they ignore this....which brings me to my big conflict. When I see these teeny-tiny skateboards [if you've forgotten..remember my heart races when I see anything that his teeny-tiny], do I "yelp" excitedly or do I "yelp" angrily? Teaching involves hard, hard decisions. So far, I can't completely contain my yelp of excitement, and I've even indulged myself and accepted two skateboards from my students who feel sorry for their weird teachers who excitedly yelps at a little plastic toy. Unfortunate for the students, my yelp of excitement is usually immediately followed by TROUBLE for the "skaters." Also my goodwill donators had the unintentional effect of drastically declining my initial excitement for the mini skateboards since I now have my very own miniature "customized" skateboard that I can secretly play with when no students...or teachers....are watching.
Future self: you can rest assured because now you will be able to look back and know exactly what was going on in your past mind. If you think about your future self wasting his/her time wondering what was going on ten years ago in his/her own brain, it's almost creepy. Future self, if you are reading this...you should feel a little creepy right now.
I have a deep conflict going on at school right now. First, you have to understand that I'm obsessed with miniature stuff. Not the ordinary obsessed, but obsessed as in my heart starts racing, and I usually make a little "yelp" of excitement. Back to the conflict... the students on my teams have bought these kits to build miniature skateboards that they do hand tricks with. The skateboards also come with a teeny-tiny screwdriver. What this means is that as I'm trying to teach, the students are in an imaginary world where hands can ride on skateboards and ollies [skateboard trick] can be done with the twist of a pinkie. If you are a teacher you might be thinking....okay, so what? one or two students aren't paying attention? Here is what you might not know. If they are not the ones performing tricks, they still aren't paying you any attention because they probably have something "riding" on if the person can or can't perform a trick. In other words, they are wasting quality education time on none other than....GAMBLING. Obviously, our team has a no-skateboard policy. If students have skateboards, they are in BIG trouble. They know this, they understand this, and they ignore this....which brings me to my big conflict. When I see these teeny-tiny skateboards [if you've forgotten..remember my heart races when I see anything that his teeny-tiny], do I "yelp" excitedly or do I "yelp" angrily? Teaching involves hard, hard decisions. So far, I can't completely contain my yelp of excitement, and I've even indulged myself and accepted two skateboards from my students who feel sorry for their weird teachers who excitedly yelps at a little plastic toy. Unfortunate for the students, my yelp of excitement is usually immediately followed by TROUBLE for the "skaters." Also my goodwill donators had the unintentional effect of drastically declining my initial excitement for the mini skateboards since I now have my very own miniature "customized" skateboard that I can secretly play with when no students...or teachers....are watching.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Oh, the support
I was so excited about my new blog that I called my fiance (the one I mentioned earlier who I don't know anymore because I haven't seen in over a week) here is the conversation:
me: I created a blog
him: a what?
me: a blog
him: what?
me: [getting annoyed] A BLOG!
him: a blog?
me: [getting excited] yeah!
him:[in an non-enthusiastic voice] What are you going to write about?
me: me, I'm funny
him: oh [his oh really meant " I don't think you're funny, but now might not be the appropriate time to mention that"
me: I created a blog
him: a what?
me: a blog
him: what?
me: [getting annoyed] A BLOG!
him: a blog?
me: [getting excited] yeah!
him:[in an non-enthusiastic voice] What are you going to write about?
me: me, I'm funny
him: oh [his oh really meant " I don't think you're funny, but now might not be the appropriate time to mention that"
I'm officially cool
Well, I've spent countless hours perusing through other bloggins (bloggers, bloggies--whatever you call them) this week--Sad. I know. I'm the weird kind of person who is easily swept into the latest "fad." So, I am now officially a blogger. And, oddly, I think that this is cool. I really have nothing to talk about so I don't know that this will be a lasting blog, but we'll see. I usually swing fully into a project for a few days, and then give it up. So hopefully you won't become too addicted to my words of wisdom.
A little about myself:
1.) I'm a teacher at a middle school in a "sorta city, sorta small-town, sorta suburban, sorta urban area" in none other than the good ole' natural state.
2.) I'm getting married in March (maybe, I'm not sure who my fiance is anymore. I think he's a tall, skinny guy, but I'm not sure since I haven't seen him in over a week)
EDIT: my fiance request that I correct his description to say "tall, handsome, and...hot."
3.) I'm a people pleaser. I always try to make sure everybody is happy with me (except for family who considers me to be a "mean, spoiled "have to have my way" person). I am trying to lose this people pleaser characteristic. One day I would like to tell people how it is.
4. ) I'm a worrier. What is worse is that I'm a non-sensical (is that a word?) worrier. I worry about everything from my dad dying to my brother (who has never really been in trouble) committing some horrible crime.
Random information-I'm watching city confidential and I just saw a prison with purple walls. If I ever do go to prison--which I never intend to--but if I do, I think I would like to go to the purple wall prison.
5.) I'm a perfectionist or a "bettiest." A bettiest is my made up word meaning that I want to be better than everybody else doing what I'm doing. I would be happier getting a 60% if it was the highest grade in the class than getting a 100% if somebody else made a 101%.
A little about myself:
1.) I'm a teacher at a middle school in a "sorta city, sorta small-town, sorta suburban, sorta urban area" in none other than the good ole' natural state.
2.) I'm getting married in March (maybe, I'm not sure who my fiance is anymore. I think he's a tall, skinny guy, but I'm not sure since I haven't seen him in over a week)
EDIT: my fiance request that I correct his description to say "tall, handsome, and...hot."
3.) I'm a people pleaser. I always try to make sure everybody is happy with me (except for family who considers me to be a "mean, spoiled "have to have my way" person). I am trying to lose this people pleaser characteristic. One day I would like to tell people how it is.
4. ) I'm a worrier. What is worse is that I'm a non-sensical (is that a word?) worrier. I worry about everything from my dad dying to my brother (who has never really been in trouble) committing some horrible crime.
Random information-I'm watching city confidential and I just saw a prison with purple walls. If I ever do go to prison--which I never intend to--but if I do, I think I would like to go to the purple wall prison.
5.) I'm a perfectionist or a "bettiest." A bettiest is my made up word meaning that I want to be better than everybody else doing what I'm doing. I would be happier getting a 60% if it was the highest grade in the class than getting a 100% if somebody else made a 101%.
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